I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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