they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Randomize
