U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
