Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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