Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I just gift wrapped bread.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
