About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
