I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
