Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
