I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
