i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
