We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
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