It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
