i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize