I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize