NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
