Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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