Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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