my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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