Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
