i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Randomize
