im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize