I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You are the jesus of drinking
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
So. Much. Porn.
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