Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize