Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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