Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
