i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
