Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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