Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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