operation have a gay friend backfired
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
