Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
