I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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