Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize