Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
