So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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