I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
of course. lets lasso hookers.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
