We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I touched a dick in church today
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
