God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize