I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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