I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
