ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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