Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize