this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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