wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
