why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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