I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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