hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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