Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
