now i know why i became what i already was.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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