Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
