I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
