I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
