This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Randomize
