ugly people sure do ruin things
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Drake has all the answers
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
