Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
