try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Randomize
