The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
