All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
