Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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