there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I just found puke in my bra..
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
