If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
