I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize