The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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