well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
