My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
