I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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