Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
