i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I pour the whiskey from now on
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
